Wise Mother

My mom always told me I can do anything I set my mind on.

Growing up I was constantly combating every excuse with that statement, that if I just put my mind to it, I could do it.

My mom says I can.

Recently, I was in a "discussion" with a friend with whom I love to argue where he said that people can't do whatever they put their mind to. That if he wanted to become a linebacker for the NFL, no matter how much he wanted it or determined to do it, it would never happen.

So, I talked to my mom about her little saying and you know what she said, "No, Mary Florence, not anyone can do what they put their mind to, YOU CAN."

I guess I've always been pretty independent.

So today I was sitting in my office, super pissed at Seth, thinking about this business I've built. It is a success on every front. Seth and I both work from home. We have money saved up. We are earning a good living.

All from something that isn't my passion, talent, or expertise.

But I decided to do it for Seth and never looked back.

Some days I regret it.

Some days I wish I had put my mind to building a business for myself instead of for someone else. That I had been determined enough to go for my dream.

What if 2 years ago, I had set out with my determination and my passion and vision to accomplish that which God has called me? What if I'm still asking that question in 20 years?

Life is scary. It's scary how quickly it passes and how each day is fleeting. Before you know it, you're 27, sitting in your office mad at yourself for missing out.

I'm almost 28.

28 is my scary age.

But at this rate, every age is a scary age. Every year is one more year that I feel I've missed the boat. I mean, I believe God is using me. I believe that he is bringing couples into our business with whom I can connect and love. But isn't that what everyone tells themselves?

But it doesn't hit deep down in my soul.

Especially on days like today when I feel I have nothing left. I feel as if I am at the end of my rope and I just can't do it anymore. I was ready to pack up and go to my mom's house and start over. Some days I just want it to be my turn.

My turn to be taken care of.

My turn to feel fulfilled in a job.

My turn to be loved.

But in reality, it's my "turn" to do the dishes, clean the house, finish photography projects, hound Seth about the projects I've delegated to him, go to bed and start all over tomorrow.

Is this life? It is life to the full as promised?

But then I tell myself, I can do anything I set my mind on.

And so I must decide, what today?