the late 20s....

Tomorrow I officially join those in their late 20s.
Seth doesn't understand why this bothers me.
I guess, I just felt like I would have a couple of kids and my life sorted out by age 27. My mom was a big wig at McDonalds and owned beach front property in California and had a kid by 28. That's one more year!
I guess every year I get older and older and feel that I've let myself down. That my life is slipping away and I am not doing anything with it. I fear that before I know it, I will be 40, still have no children, and no clue about life in general. Not sure why this is. I have lots of ridiculous fears like this one, which we will not go into.
So, I feel a little naseaus today....however that's spelled. My stomach is in knots for some odd reason and I feel a bit like crying, which I will admit did happen a little while I was watching my tivoed guilty pleasure tv show of One Tree Hill.
But the girl is like 22 and pregnant and owns a house and has it all together..... because she is a tv character.
And I have a baby shower coming up so I bought this cute stuff for the baby shower and it feels like everyone I know is getting pregnant and having babies and more babies or at least trying and then getting excited about the babies....and I am trying desperately to be super excited for them and just patiently wait, but this pit in my stomach fears that it will never be my turn. And I will just have be satisfied passing out candy at Halloween and babysitting my friends babies, since they have an absurd, amount while I continue to get dogs or something.
Anyway, apparently most of emotionally response to 27 revolves around my little baby crisis which I have been dealing with for months. And I love Seth, but he just doesn't get it. The only thing I planned for my life was children. The only thing I wanted more than anything else. It sucks that it isn't like a job that I can work towards or an achievement to earn. It's a gift.